The Best Advice I Never Got
Unstoppable in Reflection
I’ve been around for a little while—at least compared to some—and sometimes I wonder: what gives me the right to make such a bold statement and name my book From Stuck to Unstoppable: The Blueprint for Manifesting Your Dream Life?
Through deep contemplation, I realized something powerful.
I’ve been given advice by some of the wisest people I know, yet at times I either:
• Listened with the intent to reply,
• Took a little and discarded a lot,
• Or didn’t listen at all.
It wasn’t until years later that I recognized the pearls of wisdom I had overlooked—advice offered freely, but I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to receive it.
“I got the best advice… I just didn’t get it.”
It didn’t click.
I didn’t understand the wisdom being shared.
But I’m listening now.
And I hope that by sharing pieces of my life and the lessons I’ve learned, you’ll be open to reflecting on your own journey—and truly contemplate what’s written here.
Knowing Self
“To know yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” – Aristotle
One of the most important things you’ll ever have to do on this Earth is get to know yourself. It might sound overly simple or even a little strange, but it’s the blueprint—your roadmap—to creating the life you desire.
Sometimes we meet people with a gift for insight—people who can “read” us better than we can read ourselves. We’re drawn to them because they speak truths we haven’t yet acknowledged. But there’s a danger in not knowing yourself: when you lack that inner clarity, you become more vulnerable to manipulation, misunderstanding, and misalignment.
“Knowing yourself makes it highly unlikely that you’ll lose yourself in any situation.”
Knowing yourself means being aware of your:
• Physical body and needs
• Mental patterns and preferences
• Spiritual awareness and energy
• Likes and dislikes
• Environment and how you relate to it
And if knowing yourself is the blueprint, then loving yourself is the foundation.
A strong foundation is key to any structure. If the ground is weak or the base is crooked, the building is at risk—vulnerable to storms, floods, or collapse. The same is true for us.
“If you don’t build your life on the solid ground of self-awareness and self-love, everything else you try to create will feel shaky.”
So, take a moment to reflect on where you are in your journey to knowing—and loving—yourself.
The Mirror Test
Try this:
Walk into your bathroom or any space with a mirror.
Look into your eyes—really look—and smile.
Now say: “I love you.”
Sounds simple, right?
But you’d be surprised how many people can’t maintain eye contact with themselves. Some can’t start at all. Why? Because facing ourselves can be deeply uncomfortable.
“They say the hardest thing in the world is to truly face yourself. But this is where healing begins.”
We avoid eye contact not because it’s silly, but because it brings us face-to-face with our disappointments, fears, unresolved trauma, and limiting beliefs.But the truth is: you can’t heal what you won’t face.
Affirmations & the Power of Words
“Your thoughts create your life. Speak what you seek.”
When you start loving yourself, something powerful happens: self-worth grows.
You begin to ignore that inner voice that once called you stupid, ugly, unworthy.
You start respecting yourself.
The words we say to ourselves matter.
They become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Say you believe you’re not smart enough. Life will offer situations that reinforce that belief. That’s the law of attraction at work—whatever we focus on, we attract.
That’s why affirmations are so powerful.
An affirmation is a declaration that something is true.
I used affirmations during my mirror work. I’ll admit—it was tough at first to look myself in the eye and say, “Javan, I love you,” and mean it.
But I started by writing down all of my thoughts—both positive and negative—about myself, about money, about relationships. I was shocked at how many negative beliefs I was carrying. Then, I flipped each one into a positive affirmation.
For example:
• “I am healthy, wealthy, and whole.”
• “I am blessed.”
• “I am enough.”
At first, I didn’t fully believe them. But over time, I did.
Eventually, I even turned these mantras into music, because music sinks into my spirit faster than words alone. Singing my affirmations made them feel real, even before I fully believed them.
Try This: Self-Affirmation Exercise
- Write it all down. List your beliefs—both positive and negative—about yourself.
- Flip the script. For every negative belief, write a positive affirmation to counter it.
- Use present tense. Avoid phrases like “I want to…” or “I will…” Instead, use “I am…” to affirm your truth in the present.
- Speak it. Say your affirmations aloud during your mirror work.
- Repeat them daily. Aim to say your affirmations at least three times a day.
- Watch your internal dialogue. If you’re saying affirmations 3x a day but thinking negatively 100x, guess which message sticks?
“If you change your words, you can change your world.”
Final Thoughts
The best advice I never got was right in front of me the whole time.
But I had to be ready to hear it.
I had to go through some things, fall and get back up, before I could truly understand.
If you’re reading this, maybe it’s your time to hear it now:
Know yourself.
Love yourself.
Speak life into your reflection.
And never stop building your solid foundation.
